Crazy, right?
Freakshow, right?
Reducing a burgeoning sport that grows in global legitimacy every week to a carnival, right?
Yeah, maybe. But let's hang on a sec.
As a fight fan, I'm kinda appalled by the idea of this guy getting into a cage and getting repeatedly pummelled in the face, but at the same time, I'm amazed at the size of the guy's fucking BALLS. I'm an able-bodied, thirty-something guy who scrapes in at just over six feet. I'm reasonably fit, I do a wee bit of yoga and am developing my flexibility. There is no way you would get me in a cage to fight some amped up Pantera-fan who wants to punch my button nose off my face. No way. Not even with training. I don't wanna train. I watch THE ULTIMATE FIGHTER, training hurts like a motherfucker.
I spent some time in London, Ontario living with my girlfriend directly above a total MMA meathead, who I had to confront about his noise levels at three in the morning. The guy was a total thug who, you guessed it, had cage fought. Fabulous, I thought, as he threatened to drag my skinny ass out into the snow and beat the shit out of me. Thankfully, his friends calmed him down, as I was not pussy enough to back off, but there was no way I was going out into the snow with this guy (he ended up finally getting evicted, so the good guys won and no blood was shed...my blood, that is). Now, all I can think about is how Kyle Maynard would've beaten the front door open with his head and screamed "Come on, you cross-eyed fuck! I'll bite your balls off!"
Incredibly, it seems Maynard actually has skills. I have not seen him fight, as I still find it a bit...off (hypocritical, I know, as I celebrate him here) but a friend of mine has and says that somehow Maynard CHOKED A GUY OUT. How you choke-hold a guy with no arms or legs boggles the mind, really, doesn't it? So let's all hold our knee-jerk reactions (probably shouldn't have written that) to his desire to fight and take it somewhat seriously.
Post-fight, Maynard had this to say:
“I didn’t win tonight...I have to get back on the horse and perfect things. This has given me a taste. I want to get back in there and do it again. I’m only 23 years old. I’ve got a lot of time left athletically.”
Who knows? He may actually do it. Yeah, ok, probably not, but let's at least respect the guy's dream.
Before I go, I should mention that you can read the full article here and you should - it's a cracker. Props to journo Brian Knapp, who's objective reportage also has a nice noir-ish ring to it. The description of the venue leaves me wondering if Charles Willeford is still alive and pumping out fight articles:
"The setting was far from ideal. Partially enclosed by a steel skeleton, the “arena” came complete with a dirt floor peppered with straw, a wooden press box and bleachers, a hot dog stand, a row of portable toilets and a live band. Sexual enhancement fliers were passed out to the crowd before the first fist flew, and cigarette smoke choked the air, as Maynard and Fry -- the ninth and final bout on the card -- competed in a square cage of black chain-link."
Nice, huh?
Fight fans: not all meatheads.
Congenital amputees: Balls. Of. Steel.
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